Baby Utensils
by trunksfan002
Summary: Zoro goes shopping for Sanji but buys the wrong kind of fruit. After accidentally eating the fruit Sanji turns into a baby! Will the crew find a way for him to get back to normal?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one:

"I'm back shitty cook." said zoro as he set multiple bags upon the dining table.  
"Thanks, shitty swordsman." said Sanji as they locked eyes in a glaring war.

Zoro walked outside and continued his interrupted training.  
Sanji wlaked over and started unloading the bags.  
Then a certain fruit caught his eye.  
"What is this? It wasn't on my list." he complained.  
He stomped outside and spotted the marimo.

"OI MARIMO! WHY THE HELL DID YOU BUY THIS? IT WASNT ON MY LIST!" Yelled Sanji.  
"I NEVER EVEN BOUGHT THAT WEIRD ASS THING!" rebeled Zoro as he set down his weights.

"Then WHY was it in the shopping bags?" growled Sanji as he made his way to zoro.  
Luffy, chopper and usopp moved to the other side of the ship, so usopp could continue his great adventuring stories without being interrupted.

"How the hell should i know?" Said Zoro, glaring at Sanji.  
"Im not gonna use this weird ass thing!" He said as he threw it at zoro.  
Zoro caught it and growled. Then tossed it back at the yelling cook.  
"You cant even shop ri-" Sanji was interrupted by swollowing the fruit.

Sanji stopped, then started to fall, when zoro caught him.  
"Oi?" yelled Zoro.

The crew ran out at the sudden silence and thud.

They stopped and marveled at the baby in Zoro's lap.  
The baby was dressed in the cook's overly huge clothes. A full head of blonde hair covered its soft head.

"...Cook?" asked Zoro.  
Sanji looked up and started shrieking.

"Badaaa! MA MO! AH MEEEE GAW!" Shrieked the child as he flailed his limbs about.  
'Baka Marimo! Let me go!'

The crew gathered around, seeing the child.

"...Zoro...is that sanji?" asked Luffy.  
Zoro looked up and nodded.

Zoro picked up Sanji in his arms and stood up.  
"What do i do with him?" asked the confused swordsman.

"We need to figure this out by figuring out what caused him to turn into a baby." said Chopper.  
Zoro's eyes widened.  
"He accidentaly ate a fruit. Then he collapsed and this happened." said Zoro.  
"MA MO! oo dew id mah maff!" yelled the unhappy baby.  
'Marimo! You threw it in my mouth!'

"Here, let me take him. Maybe i can make some clothes for him." Said Nami. "at a price." she said quietly.  
She reached down for sanji, who happily complied, and picked him up.

"Am saaah!" he happily gurgled.  
'Nami-Swaaaan~!'

Nami and Sanji retreated to the girl's room.

"Ill build him a SUPER bed! for the time being!" said Franky, running off, but not before his signature pose.

"Ill try to study this plant that Cook-san swallowed." said Robin. "Can you describe it to me Swordsman-san?" she asked as she got out a sketch book and began to sketch the fruit as Zoro decribed it to her.

Zoro decided to take a nap for the time being. He woke up a while later with his chest a little heavier. He looked down to see baby Sanji sleeping on his chest.

Zoro looked around and blushed.  
He looked around until his eyes met Nami's.

"oi!" Zoro yelled in a hushed voice. "Why is the shitty cook on me?"  
"You were already sleeping, and he fell asleep." She took a drink of her coffee. "And Franky hasnt finished his bed yet." she finished.

Suddenly the little bundle on his chest started to stretch out and yawn.

Sanji looked around and rubbed his eyes. He looked up at zoro and frowned.  
"Ay mm aye hew?" he asked, adjusting himself on Zoro's chest.  
'Why am i here?'

Zoro smirked.  
"Well that's probably one of the few good things about you turning into a baby, I cant understand your nagging." said Zoro as he sat Sanji on the deck.  
Sanji glared at him. Then started to crawl to Nami.

Sanji sat and raised his arms to Nami.  
Nami smiled and picked him up, then set him on the table.  
She smirked, then tickled him. Sanji, being a baby, couldnt stop himself from laughing uncontrolably.

"You are a really cute baby~ You wouldnt mind if i took a few pictures, would you Sanji-kun...?" asked the red head.  
Sanji shook his head and smiled. She started taking a few pictures then put away the camera.

"You're going to use those for black mail, aren't you." said zoro, as he sat down at the table.  
Nami looked over at him and smiled.  
"No, Sanji-kun would pay me anyway. I just think he is cute." Said Nami as she tickled his feet.  
Sanji looked over at Nami and started babbling happily, from being called cute.

Zoro watched Sanji then poked his stomache.  
"Can you still cook?" asked Zoro.  
Nami hit him over his head.  
"BAKA! HE IS A BABY!" she yelled.  
Zoro rubbed his head and glared at her. "...witch..."

Sanji looked over at Zoro and yelled. Then rolled over on his stomach then crawled over and started hitting Zoro's chest.  
" DA CA AM SA A WID!" Sanji yelled.  
'DONT CALL NAMI SWAN A WITCH!'

Zoro watched Sanji pound at his chest until he got tired.  
Zoro grabbed Sanji from under his arms and stood him up on the table.  
Zoro let him go and Sanji fell back on his bottom. Sanji whined and glared at Zoro.

He smirked.  
"There, i found you something to do. Train yourself to walk." said Zoro as he walked away.

Later that afternoon.

"im hungry...Sanji" Luffy looked at the baby. "Make me some meat..." whined Luffy.

Nami bonked him on the head.  
"Baka, he can't cook, he is a baby." she said.

"Then who is going to cook?" gasped Luffy.  
Nami thought about it. 'Is there anyone else on board that can cook...' she pondered.

"Can anyone else here cook?" she asked.  
The crew was silent.  
Until that is..

Zoro raised his hand.

"I can cook simple things. I can't make some fantastic feast, but i can cook a little." he blushed a little.

Suddenly Luffy glomped Zoro.  
"ZOROOOOOO~~! MAKE ME MEAT!" pleaded the captain.  
"Hai..." sighed Zoro.

After a few hours, supper was done.  
"WOW ZORO! THIS IS GOOD!" cheered Luffy between bites.  
"indeed, this is delishious. But i didn't think that you were the type to cook." said Robin.

"I don't really. But i learned when ever i would... travel, i learned to cook in order to fend for myself." said the swordsman.

"You mean when you got lost?" laughed Usopp.  
moments later Usopp ran out of the mess hall screaming, as Zoro threw a pan at him.

"Oi...arent you guys gonna feed sanji?" asked Chopper, as he watched the baby stare at Nami's plate.

"I was...but i dunno what to feed the little runt." said Zoro as he crossed his arms.  
"hmm... Let me give him a check up first, then i can try to figure out what he can eat." said Chopper as he picked up sanji and walked to his office. He returned with a grumpy Sanji.

"He is about 9 months old. So he cant chew anything yet. He can only have VERY soft foods or milk." said Chopper all knowingly.

Nami picked up Sanji and looked at him.  
"So...how do we get a bottle for him...? We dont have those kind of things here..." she said.  
The usopp spoke up.

"I can make him one!" Said Usopp.  
He picked out a few items from the kitchen then combined them into a makeshift bottle.  
He filled it with milk, then gave it to Sanji.

Sanji looked at it with uncertainly. Usopp had make a bottle out of a glass cylinder and lid with a hole poked threw the middle.  
Nami guided the bottle to his mouth and he started to drink.

"It works!" Cheered Usopp and Chopper.  
Zoro smirked and started to wash the dishes.

After washing the dishes Zoro went down to the deck and started another of his naps.

After finally getting to sleep, zoro was inturrupted.

"OI! ZORO-BRO! Can you give me a SUPER helping hand?" asked Franky as he tried to get the crib he built, down into the boy's room.

Zoro sighed and got up to help him. Soon they got it set up. The crib was a baby blue with soft bedding and a mobile with the faces of all of the crew.  
Nami smiled and placed Sanji in it.

"Don't you think its SUPER, Sanji-bro?" asked Franky.  
Sanji felt the soft matress and smiled and nodded.  
Nami yawned, creating a chain reaction within the crew. Suddenly the crew became tired.

The crew retired to their beds for the night.  
Zoro had finally gone to sleep for a few hours. Until he was woken up, that is.

"Aye! ma mo! Owo!" whined Sanji.  
'hey! Marimo!...Zoro...'

Zoro looked over at sanji, who was squirming around uncomfortably.  
He sighed and walked over to the crib.

"What's wrong chibi?" he asked annoyed.  
Sanji blushed and pointed to his crotch.

"Eh...?" Zoro asked confused.

"P-pee..." said Sanji as he sniffled.  
Zoro's face became white.  
"...What do you want me to do about it? I don't know how to take care of a baby." he defended.  
Sanji's eyes began to water.  
"ah!" yelped Zoro as he took off Sanji's pants, and undid the diaper.

He quickly wiped Sanji clean and put a clean one back on him.  
Then Zoro picked up Sanji and rocked him.  
"Are you better now? Did I do it right?" he asked, trying to get Sanji to quiet down.

Sanji wiped his eyes and yawned, then nodded. He rubbed his face into Zoro's chest again and fell asleep. Zoro sighed in relief and put Sanji back to bed, then himself.

'He is going to be an even bigger pain in the ass.' thought Zoro.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Sanji awoke to the smell of meat cooking. He rubbed his eyes and stretched out and yawned.  
Upon feeling Sanji move, Robin looked down and smiled.  
"Good afternoon, Cook-san." she said.  
"abta oo?" questioned the cook.  
'afternoon?'

Sanji looked over to see everyone eating away, trying to defend their food from the captain.  
Then Sanji blushed as his stomach grumbled.  
"Cook-san, would you like me to get your lunch?" asked Robin.

"Ie fa Waa daa, o da ab ta!" gurgled Sanji, still trying to spoil the ladies.  
'It's fine Robin-Chan, you don't have to!'

"It's already made and in the fridge if he wants it." inturuped Zoro.  
Then usopp started to laugh. Nami shot him a confused look.

"Zoro's like a mom." laughed Usopp.  
Seconds passed and Usopp ran out of the room and climbed up to the watch tower.  
"I WANT TO LIVE!" he cried.

The crew laughed and watch the two fight.

Robin chuckled and walked over to the fridge. She picked up the bottle and returned to her seat.  
"A-an oo waba daaan!" thanked sanji.  
'T-thank you Robin-chwan!'

Robin smiled and directed the bottle to Sanji's mouth.  
Sanji blushed, but was more than happy to have robin feed him, even if it was a bottle.  
Sanji finished and burped.

Robin smiled and set him on the floor.  
"I read a book that said "Younger children like to crawl around." , I thought you would enjoy a bit of freedom, Cook-san." smiled Robin.

Sanji gurlged happily and crawled out of the mess hall, and watched to sea from the upper deck.

The day seemed to take forever to pass.  
'Without anything to do...the days seem much longer' thought Sanji as he yawned.

Suddenly hands wrapped around Sanji. He squeaked in suprise as he was lifted into strong arms.  
"Nami said to bring you inside. Too much sun isnt good for babies." smirked Zoro.

Sanji yawned again and leaned into Zoro's chest.  
Zoro walked back into the mess hall and sat down.

Nami looked over and "aww'ed"  
Zoro threw her a confused look, then looked down.  
Sanji was sleeping on his chest with his fists grabing his shirt.

'Baka shit cook...' blushed Zoro.

Zoro looked over to nami.  
"Do i put him in his bed...or what?" asked Zoro.

"If you put him down there we can't hear him if he cries." she said. "why don't you go take a nap with him in the library or something?" she offered.

Zoro had been tired. he though for a moment and nodded a thank you before leaving.

He sat on the couch and watched the fish swim around in the aquarium. Slowly he closed his eyes and started to snore.

"...ro"  
Zoro's eyebrow twitched.

"zo...zo...zo...ro!" the voice was persistant.

He opened his eyes and yawned.  
"What?" he whined.

"Where is Sanji?" asked Luffy.

"What are you talking about." Zoro looked down. "He is right he-..." zoro jumped up and looked around frantically.

"Oi! Eyebrow! Where the hell did you go!" Zoro panicked.  
'If i lost ero-cook, Nami will raise my debt even more!' he thought.

He looked under the couch and around the room. Then he ran out on deck and looked around frantically.

He heard snickering, then turned around to see the crew behind him.  
"Aww mama zoro is worried about her baby~" teased Usopp.

Nami was behind him holding a giggling Sanji.  
Zoro put on his bandana and pulled out wado.

"Rest in piece, Usopp." he said before chasing Usopp around the ship and up the watch tower.

"SPARE MY SOUL!~" he screached.

Hours passed until dinner, Zoro fixed fish and meat for luffy.

Usopp still had bruises and cuts, but he came ot the conclusion that it was indeed, worth it.

Sanji happily drank from his bottle in Nami's arms.

"Robin, have you found anything about the fruit?" asked Nami.

"yes, it's called chiisai fruit." she said, turning to Nami. "It has the effects of youth on whoever consumes it, however, the only known cure is the dai fruit. It is only located on the Dai dai islands." she said , pointing to two small islands.

"ehhh..." thought Nami.  
"From our current loaction...it should take us about a week to get there." she said.

"Good think we got all of that supplies, huh Nami?" smiled usopp.  
"mmhmm." she nodded.

"ba~" burped Sanji.  
Nami giggled and placed the bottle on the table.

Sanji snuggled into her warmth and smiled.

"I wonder how much longer Sanji is going to be like this..." pondered usopp.  
The crew agreed.  
"Yeah, I want him to cook me supper~!" whined luffy."Zoro is a good cook, but Sanji knows how i like it..." he sighed.

The crew sweat dropped.  
"Aw ya dew ith ting bat fud, siddy gamo!" Sanji grumbled.  
'all you think about is food, shitty gomu!'

'I wouldn't mind staying like this...but i refuse to let the marimo continue to take care of me.' thought sanji.

Sanji's train of though was interupted by a large yawn.  
'i'll think about it later...' he thought as he drifted into sleep.

"This is going to be a looong week" sighed Zoro.


End file.
